Random Thoughts of a British Eccentric

Time for automation

2012-01-29T07:46:00.000Z

I can't help but think that the Republican party is now in the same position that the Conservative party in the UK was in for years, with no credible leaders that look like they can win an election. Obama may not have delivered much that he promised, but when you look at the collection the Republicans are putting forwards the whole world starts to worry!

To be entirely honest I despair when I see & hear the prospective Republican Presidential candidates on TV.
They'd be better off stealing the Ronald Reagan robot from the Hall of Presidents at Disneyland, it has more humanity & charisma

Saving on your shopping

2012-01-29T07:28:00.003Z

There's just been a radio ad on for Tesco. Seems if you pay £40 for your shopping in one week they will give you £5 towards next weeks shopping. Here's a tip, take Anthony Worral Thompson with you next time you shop in Tescos, you'll save even more.

092152

2012-01-28T14:45:00.003Z

We keep getting calls from this crew.They claim they are from Microsoft & that they are calling because your PC is infected with a virus.The whole idea is to get you to sign up to their virus protection scheme , you give them your bank details or your card number & next think you know your account is as empty as Christine Bleakley's head.

No thanks folks. Not for me.

Don't they check these things?

2012-01-28T06:23:00.002Z

It seems that Chris Langham, the actor who was convicted for the use of child pornography back in 2007, was scheduled to attend a Q & A session about his latest film at a public school. Until parents objected & his visit was cancelled..

Now Chris has paid the price for what he did & I'm not going to go into a Daily Mail style rant abbout paedophiles. But the stigma of being a paedophile remains for many & I think it was particularly insensitive of the organiser of these Q & A sessions not to have considered the possible implications, for all concerned.

Galaxy Song

2012-01-27T19:29:00.000Z

Manners maketh man.

2012-01-27T19:09:00.002Z

Part of my job sees my on the telephone a great deal of the day, making international calls from East to West. In the main it's interesting & you do get the odd rude sod at the other end of the line now & then.(Used to be one myself & I now strive not to be!)

But one thing that really bugs me is an example of bad manners which is quite unintentional. If you ring the USA, most of the time its

"Good morning, can I speak to Brad" (or whomever)
"Sure, I'll put you through"
"Thank you"
"You're welcome!"

A perfectly delightful & civil exchange. But occasionally when I ring some of the southern States it's not so good;

"Good morning, can I speak to Brad" (or whomever)
"Sure, I'll put you through"
"Thank you"
"Uh huh!"

Oh how I do hate that Uh huh; it comes across as rude & dismissive, which is not my experience when I have met people from that region. One of my best friends is from Alabama, she would be mortified if someone thought her so rude.

What a shame these receptionists don't realise it.

Pipe Organ - Ride of the Valkyries

2012-01-25T19:21:00.000Z

Amazing

2012-01-25T06:01:00.000Z

Mt brother Mark, at 47, has managed to get himself an admin job. He will only be working 16hrs a week & making a little extra money. But as a result of working these few hours he no longer qualifies for help with the rent or council tax.

If, on the other hand he was one of those feckless arseholes who cant wait to get their girlfriends pregnant for the benefits, & never intends to work again, they'd be climbing over each other in the benefits dept to throw money at him.

Strikes me that the worst treated minority in Britain is actually the single man. You pay as much in as anyone but frankly get fuck all back.

Good progress

2012-01-25T05:57:00.002Z

I've now started work on Volume 4 of PPNE, the amphibians. I finished the reptiles off on Friday afternoon, already finished off the salamanders as well.

Luckily all the material I needed was to hand from the old version.

Another sad passing

2012-01-23T12:45:00.000Z

It's reported in the local paper today that my old deputy headmaster, Clem Lond has died at 85. Another of those helpful kind teachers you dont see nowadays.

A sign of getting old, I suppose, when your teachers start to pass away.

RIP Clem

Happy Chinese New Year.

2012-01-22T18:23:00.000Z

Mohammed Ali & the decline of boxing

2012-01-22T08:54:00.000Z

This week marked the 70th birthday of Mohammed Ali, & whilst in recent years he's been ravaged by Parkinson's disease he remains as witty & clever as ever he was. ESPN showed a series of programs celebrating his career & some old interviews with him. It is indeed sad to see his decline but remember this man achieved more in his life than many ever will.

Which brings me to my second point. Although I am not a great sports fan personally my brother Julian is & will often watch the sports channels while I'm working on PPNE. Last night he was watching boxing & I was amazed to see several contests where the boxers were obviously not in their best condition. Rolls of flab, love handles & moobs, one blubberpot was knocked down twice in a matter of seconds.

Now I'm what you would describe as portly myself, but I don't climb into boxing rings & fight for money. We are told that standards of health have improved since Ali's heyday in the seventies, but thinking back to the tributes they showed to him, fighting Joe Frazier & George Foreman, you could see then that they were at their physical best, trim & ready to go.Forty years on & you have chubby fighters who look like they've stepped out of the darts & just given up the curry for a few days before a fight.

And they wonder why boxing is in decline.

When we remember Zion

2012-01-21T10:04:00.000Z

The Zion Wildlife Park in New Zealand is in receivership, & there is talk that some of the big cats there will have to be destroyed. It's a tremendous shame but to be honest from a conservationists viewpoint the place is a joke. Empasis was placed on breeding white lions & tigers & marketing them as rare subspecies when in fact they are really just colour variants, like tabby cats that would not survive in the wild. There are tales of cruelty within the park itself, with some of the cats having had their claws removed (imagine trying to function if someone had torn your fingernails out!) for safety reasons , the death of one of the keepers and the whole saga of Craig Busch himself, coming across as a seemingly folksy animal lover in the Lion Man TV series, but there seems to be a darker current there, with stories of wifebeating ,animal cruelty and a dysfunctional family running the park.

Small wonder the receivers won't deal with the current management of Zion, or with Busch either.I thin when the truth comes out most wont remember Zion fondly.

What a waste of money

2012-01-21T08:29:00.000Z

We go the new bag from NNDC today. The theory is that you keep it hanging about until you've filled it with unwanted clothes & shoes & then the bin men collect it & pass it on to the Salvation Army, who sell the contents, thus reducing stuff going into landfill. Our binmen very often can't even make their collections on the day they are supposed to!

However, that's not my point. This service is already provided free of charge to the householder by many other
charities including the Sally Army themselves. It's not needed & another waste of money & effort like the way the Tory councillors are chasing after Iceland to change what seems to be a perfectly reasonable shop front .

What we need is better provision from them of things like bottlebanks. To give you an example, although by far the greatest proportion of townsfolk live east of the town centre , the only bottlebanks are in Morrissons car park, on the western side of town. It's not as if there arent other places they could be placed, NNDC owns plenty of other land.

Personally I used the pointless thing as a bin liner

Oh Dear Lamar Smith...

2012-01-20T20:30:00.000Z

It seems the SOPA bill, which was intended to stop internet piracy is dead in the water. But it's sponsor, Lamar Smith says

"We need to revisit the approach on how best to address the problem of foreign thieves that steal and sell American inventions and products. “The problem of online piracy is too big to ignore. American intellectual property industries provide 19 million high-paying jobs and account for more than 60% of U.S. exports. The theft of America’s intellectual property costs the U.S. economy more than $100 billion annually and results in the loss of thousands of American jobs. Congress cannot stand by and do nothing while American innovators and job creators are under attack.”

This is the same USA which, before it was attacked by the Japanese in 1941 carried out an extensive "strip mining " of a whole range of British inventions from the cavity magnetron through to radar & nuclear research in return for a pile of obsolete destroyers & assorted junk for war use? And then only "rode to the rescue" (spare me the hilarity please!) when, after ignoring warnings by British intelligence that the Japanese were planning attacks on them for years, they finally decided to stand by their staunchest ally, having raped our industry of it's innovations?

The same USA whose multinational corporations attempt to plunder developing companies of their mineral rights, that attempt to impose the homogeneity of their products upon the world , that uses a disproportionate amount of the world's resources & is the major producer of the world's pollution?

Spare us the crocodile tears Lamar.

Another foray into football.

2012-01-19T20:43:00.001Z

According to Colin Wanker, aka Neil Warnock, a man I have long despised as a whining booby unable or unwilling to accept the glaring fact that he might actually be shit at his job he lost his Queens Park Rangers job as his reputation was 'slowly poisoned' by critics from within and outside the club.

He claimed a "lack of football experience" in the hierarchy left QPR open to "manipulative" people.

But even for someone as disinterested in football as me his record speaks volumes/

2 Jan: QPR 1-2 Norwich City
31 Dec: Arsenal 1-0 QPR
27 Dec: Swansea 1-1 QPR
21 Dec: QPR 2-3 Sunderland
18 Dec: QPR 0-2 Man Utd
10 Dec: Liverpool 1-0 QPR
3 Dec: QPR 1-1 West Brom
26 Nov: Norwich 2-1 QPR

After their most recent defeat under him, he claimed that Norwich players were cheating.Curious though, that since QPR waved him ta ta they havent lost.

Neil Warnock =past it poisoned chalice. A career as one of those whining self important failures who act as pundits, or perhaps a slot with Geoff Stelling watching matches on Sky TV on Saturdays beckons. He's as much use as a footballer as I would be as a marathon runner.

Face it Colin, you're shit.

RIP Harold Hems

2012-01-19T09:42:00.000Z

Greatly, deeply saddened to learn this morning of the death of Harold Hems, my old maths teacher & a man who encouraged me in my study of wildlife, even if he never fully succeeded in drumming maths into my unwilling brain.

A formidable but humourous teacher, always ready to help those who needed it, & who genuinely cared about those in his charge. Also notable for his great skill at wildlife photography & discovering the West Runto Elephant with his wife, MArgaret.

RIP Harold "Honka" Hems. You leave behind you hundreds of pupils with fond memories of you.

It just occurred

2012-01-18T20:17:00.002Z

As part of her Jubilee celebrations the Queen is going to go barging down the Thames. Fucking typical, old people always shoving in!

Gamekeeper turned Poacher

2012-01-17T12:45:00.001Z

Interesting to see Rupert Pennant Rea, my old chairman at TSO, giving evidence (albeit briefly) in his role as chairman of Times Newspapers about press regulation. In his view it's not needed.

Quite charitable when you recall that in 1995 , when he was deputy governor of the Bank of England they revealed that he was having an affair & he did the deed with his lover in Eddie George's office!

Mum would go to Iceland but.....!

2012-01-16T21:23:00.002Z

Text of a letter to the local paper, about their constant objections to Iceland in Cromer

"Dear Sir;

With reference to Councillor Keith Johnson's letter in not only most Archant
published papers but down, it seems, to the freesheets we get through our
doors, can I ask, as a constituent & a Cromer Council Tax payer for a simple,
straight answer?

As a member of the public, can you make me aware of one fact
which you have consistently skated over & dodged around as a council for months
now? I'll settle for a simple answer, if you can manage it?

Exactly what is wrong with the shop front of Iceland? How does it damage the store or the appearance of Cromer? It seems no worse than Budgens, or Boots, or BetFred to most of us. So what is the pettifogging quibble that you don't seem able to
explain?"

Perhaps the current Cromer of do nothing councillors might care to explain why they object so much & insist on wasting our money!

So far up himself

2012-01-16T06:02:00.001Z

Ricky Gervais has now completed his journey from being a funny man to being a complete egomanical twat, from his time producing the Office through his fucking awful episode of the Simpsons to presenting the Golden Globes, having made a couple of shit unwatchable films. He's reasonable in a supporting role but could not carry a film if his life .

The key for me was when he referred to himself as Britain's biggest comedian during the show last night. I reckon there are several candidates over here, selling out British arenas better qualified for that title, not some puffed up peewit who swans over here, produces a shit comedy for Sky & then fucks off again.

He's now gone way beyond Steve Martin syndrome.

Sunday, 15th Jan

2012-01-15T08:31:00.002Z

Today is a cold, frosty day, the first really heavy frost of the winter so far, bringing with it all the attendant joint aches that such weather does. Apart from that, and a certain reluctance to get out of a nice warm bed I don't mind such weather, it's how winter should be.Minus two outside at the moment!

Best to stay in perhaps!

Thck table

2012-01-14T15:07:00.001Z

A few posts back I wrote about a nearby NED who spent two weeks worth of dole money on a motorbike last week & then when hustling down to the DWP to demand more cash. He needed some berr tokens no doubt.

Idiot spent the last week riding the damn thing round his garden & up & down our shared path, & sold it today. He hasn't once ridden it for any distance in the road.

Thick table I think!

HD "Moonlight Sonata" 5.1 Dolby Beethoven - John Hong Organ Solo - 1st M...

2012-01-14T14:50:00.000Z

The start of the weekend

2012-01-14T07:56:00.001Z

The weather is cold, as winter should be. No snow yet though.

Up at six fifteen, bacon sandwich for breakfast, no doubt filling me with cancer as the scientists would now have it, with Snowy on the scrounge again, then a puff of the pipe, topping me up with the old carcinogens, then on to work. Twenty species of gecko added to my zoology site before seven thirty & a quick dip into the news to see what is going on. France has been downgraded by Standard & Poor, as have many other Eurozone countries. Most analysts now seem to be advocating a Keynesian solution of increasing spending & investment to ride out the recession, seems like monetarism as beloved of Thatcher & her cronies is now lying as discredited as National Socialism & Communism as a philosophy.

Brings me on neatly to Neil Kinnock. The Welsh windbag & guardian of Labour's left wing heritage as he sees it,is singing the praises of Ed Milliband. Like anyone with any sense would trust Kinnock, he's so left wing he took a peerage & enjoyed the Brussls gravy train for years, just like his awful shrewish wife still does.

Personally I can't see the point of Ed Milliband. No charisma, no personality, a strictly metric politician. And no policies.If as Alexei Sayle has it about political leaders, that when you look back you always remembe the last one as being better than his predescessor then Gordon Brown looks like he's in for an image make over. It's almost like Labour have elected Beaker from the Muppet Show as leader, the animated adenoid Ed Milliband.
In the meantime Ed Balls must be chuckling & biding his time, as anyone with the chancellor's role must, rubbing his hands & thinking the top job will soon be his.

Happy Julian New Year

2012-01-13T20:08:00.002Z

According to the Julian calendar ,(which was used up until, surprisingly, the last century in some places) today is New Year's Day. Happy New Year .

The calendar we currently use is the Gregorian, which in the style of Oliver Reed lost several days in September a few centuries ago.

Genius,legend.....

2012-01-13T16:01:00.000Z

These are much abused terms, which as I've sometimes mentioned on this blog are applied in some areas to people entirely undeserving of the title of legend. In many cases it's a polite epithet for has been.

At the moment, however, I am listening to the Goldberg variations by J.S. Bach, played by the late Glenn Gould..This blog is called the British eccentric but any eccentricities I may have such as quoting poetry at people & having long conversations with my dog are NOTHING compared to some of Mr Gould's eccentricities, such as having to have a special chair to sit on, wearing several layers of clothing even in warm rooms & humming whilst he played . Even his technique, pulling the keys down to make them sound rather than striking them, is different.

Technically speaking as well, I could be classed in purely IQ terms as a genius,but I consider this man as a true genius & a real legend in a world where both words are bandied about to those who are totally undeserving.

RIP Queenie

2012-01-12T20:17:00.001Z

Sad to see in the local press today that a lovely local lady, Queenie Woodward, has passed away. She was a friend of my late mother's & used to run a local bakery where you could buy the best pies & sausage rolls in North Norfolk.

Our two dogs, Shep & Shane, always got a sausage roll each whenever we went to the shop (although they stayed outside) and she always referred to the pair as the boys.

RIP Queenie, you will most definitely be missed.

Two things

2012-01-12T12:34:00.000Z

There was a report on the news the other day about how immigrants are taking jobs from workers in the UK. Thing is, these are the jobs that many perceive as being too poorly paid to want to do them, & so they are content to take the dole. How many could we clear off the dole queue if these jobs were filled by those same people taking money for nothing

Brought home to me yesterday when it was reported that one of the local chavs spent all his dole money, supposed to last two weeks, in one & was then down to the dole office like a shot trying to get more money. He has no real skills & no real qualifications, but rather than look for a job his first resort was to try to get extra money from the DWP.

Seems the jobs are there but our youngsters don't want to do them. Part of this is, to my mind the way people are encouraged to stay on after school rather than go straight into work. My bus every evening is filled with students just marking time between taking pointless courses to extend their parents grip on extra benefits & going on the dole themselves if male, or getting pregnant at the first opportunity for the same reasons if female.

Call me an old reactionary but in 32 years I've been unemployed seven months, a bloody good record I feel, & six of those were due to an injury I sustained at work. And I've done some pretty shit jobs & taken some unwarranted stuff shit from some of the people I worked for.

But if you want to work it often comes with the territory. Not everyone is destined to be Richard Branson or James Dyson, someone has to empty the bins or clean the streets. Good solid work, nothing wrong in it & we need to end the culture of such jobs being looked down on.

Priceless!

2012-01-11T12:36:00.002Z

A plethora of plastic bags

2012-01-09T20:27:00.001Z

One of the banes of modern life, along with charity muggers, is the endless piles of plastic bags you get shoved through your front door, entreating you to fill them with everything from your hard acquired tat to the clothes off your back. Well, if you live in North Norfolk our do nothing councillors have persuaded Kier, who do our local bin collection, & do that at the same pace as an arthritic woodlouse with Alzheimer's , to also pick up any unwanted clothes.

So let me get this straight. Everyone is trying to economise firstly, but our local do nothings her persuaded our lacklustre bin men to pick up bagged clothes for recycling.Yet another plastic bag begging to be filled. I use the bloody things for bin liners to be honest. When are Councillor Steptoe & his ilk going to realise that we want them to spend our council tax on stuff like road repairs, maintenance etc, there are more than enouh charities plying us with placcy bags as it is?

Seventy years

2012-01-08T09:15:00.002Z

Today is the seventieth birthday of Steven Hawking.. It's a birthday he was never expected to see due to his illness which has left him almost completely paralysed. But take a look at the man's achievements, not only in the fields of cosmology & physics, propounding theories as far over my head as the word extinct used to be over the slack jawed troglodytes I used to work with at Bernard Matthew, but also popularising science in such as way as to make these same sciences accessible to the average person.

So much so that he is now considered by many, including me, as ranking alongside Newton & Einstein as one of the greatest physicists of all time.And when you look at just what this amazing man has achieved, locked into an unresponsive body but with one of the most amazing minds of his generation you cannot be help to think that he embodies the first line of the Chorus of the Hebrew Slaves from the opera Nabucco by Verdi.

Va, pensiero, sull'ali dorate - Fly, thought, on wings of gold

Happy birthday, sir!

Henry V (1944) Once more unto the breach

2012-01-07T18:02:00.000Z

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Is this fair?

2012-01-07T09:07:00.000Z

North Norfolk District Council has announced a reduction in subsidies to local bus companies, which is leading to a a reduction in some bus services. At the moment these are primarily evening & Sunday services, but the fear is that they will have to reduce some weekday services too.

A better solution would be to target the free travel given to the over 60's better. A lot of the people using it frankly don't need it, nice middle class folk with two pensions & a Volvo who want a nice day at the races or whatever as opposed to the little old lady without a car who uses the bus to get to the shops.

Either restrict free travel to those who genuinely need it (free travellers as opposed to the freeloaders taking advantage of the system!) & use the money saved to protect the bus services used by everyone.

Surely the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few?

Celebrity DJs

2012-01-07T08:30:00.001Z

I don't really know if it's an apposite term to use for a radio station playing classical music but Classic FM seems, in it's twentieth year, to have adopted the idea of the celebrity DJ. When they started they had a mix of known names like Paul Gambacinni & new people, then there was a period of transition when you had other ex Radio one people such as Marc Goodier & Mike Read on the station. It's really only a few months since Simon Bates left them as well.

They also had well known musicians with their own shows & indeed the composer Howard Goodall & Mylene Klass are still in their employ, & Alex James of Blur has presented a number of informative programs for them.

Now we have the celebrity DJ on their airwaves. Among the first was the oleaginous Lawrence Llewellyn-Bowen, of a Sunday morning, spouting platitudes & banalities for three hours. John Suchet the ex newsreader has a daily program (but at least he's an expert on Beethoven) and his newsreading colleague Nicholas Owen has one at weekends.

Later today another joins their ranks, a man who in the stakes of media whoiredom makes Iain Dale look like a blushing virgin . Alan Titchmarsh.

I await this with interest. Titchmarsh started as a simple son of the soil on Gardener's World but since has been on almost every program of any sort. He has a chat show, which I suppose gives him a better grounding than the foppish Lawrence, & he has presented the Proms, as well as nature programs and almost anything & everything in between, as well as finding time to write shit novels which sell on his name rather than their great literary content. Why not cash in on your name if some mug will buy a book just because it says your name in raised gold lettering on the cover? Works for Anne Widdecombe as well, who is rapidly becoming even more of a media whore after being on Strictly, even appearing in panto this year. I kid you not, Widders was in panto & didnt even play an ugly sister.

But to return to Titchmarsh, I am secretly hoping he'll be no good as I don't like him too much. There's something saccharine about the man, a sort of "Oh, isn't it lovely" attitude regardless of what he's wittering on about. But I have a feeling that the bugger may do rather well in this new role.

Farewell Bob

2012-01-06T19:11:00.001Z

I was greatly saddened tonight to hear that Bob Holness, host of the quiz show Blockbusters, among many other things has died. He will be missed.

Could I have an R, an I & a P please Bob?

Two Ronnies - Aldershot Brass Ensemble

2012-01-06T18:24:00.000Z

It's that time again

2012-01-06T06:05:00.000Z

Channel 5 are wheeling out Celebrity Big Brother again. I just read a report about it in the local paper as Andrew Stone, who was in some Sky TV dance thing, apparently went to a local school.. The only problem is, of all the supposed celebs I've only heard of two of them, Frankie Cocainesniffer who got dumped from the X Factor & Stone, & I only know him from watching Harry Hill take the piss out of him on TV Burp.

These are I suppose Channel 5s ideas of what celebrities are, but then agian Channel 5 is the Lidl version of a TV Channel

Goldberg Variations 1-7

2012-01-05T18:38:00.000Z

A two edged sword

2012-01-05T12:48:00.001Z

Whilst I am glad that Diane Abbott has apologised for her appalling remarks on Twitter, I still beleive that this stupid, divisive woman should resign. In a week when the killers of Stephen Lawrence were finally jailed, just contrast her absurd racist posturing with the dignity shown by the Lawrence family.

Let's not try to dress this up in PC language, had a white minister or MP made such comments about any other ethnic group then the media would be calling for his resignation at the very least.Ms Abbott is guilty of racism & should pay with her position.

It's as simple as that. Racism is a two edged sword & should not be tolerated. Full stop.

Not really following

2012-01-04T20:49:00.001Z

I've never really been a follower of Norwich City as a football team. I've been aware of them in the background as it were as Julian is a fan, seemingly too good for the lower divisions but not good enough for the top, a depressing saga of promotions & relegations.

Which is why I am pleasantly surprised to see how well they are doing at the moment, in the top ten of the Premier League as I write this.I'm also amused by the antics of the weekend, with Joey Barton proclaiming his sending off was a massive con by some Norwich player (I understand Mr Barton has a considerable reputation in that field himself) and his manager, Colin Wanker, AKA Neil Warnock, spouting endless diatribes about Norwich being cheats. I am reliably informed that as a manager Warnock is amongst the poorest of sportsmen, unable to accept the fact that perhaps when his team loses it's always because the other side engaged in some form of mendacity than the fact that QPR were shit.

It seems this is a common affliction amongst football managers but more prevalent in those whose surname starts with W. I can't confirm as I'm not a devoted follower of the game.But it is nice to see a smile on the face of St Delia & also when Norwich are doing well, she is less likely to invade the pitch after hitting the cooking sherry in the director's box.

Jan 4th

2012-01-04T19:43:00.001Z

One of my presents for Christmas this year was a DVD copy of the TV adaptation of My Family & Other Animals from the 1980s. The lad who played Gerald Durrell, Darren Redmayne, as far as I can tell via the wonder of Google, now MD of a finance company of some sort .

It mad me wonder what had happened to some other child stars, if you follow the Hollywood gossips success as a child performer does not always translate into real life, suicides, drug overdoses, early deaths; River Phoenix, Gary Coleman are just two of many tragic stories . Over here we have Lena Zavaroni, a great success as a child star but died young, Jack Wild was the Artful Dodger in the musical version of Oliver but his aduylt life was tragic.Glyn Poole, at oine point the angelic singing star of Stars on Sunday & Junior Showtime has, apparently, served time in prison & then there's Bonnie Langford.

Her entire career has been a tragedy.

Macaulay Culkin hasn't had a major sucess since his voice broke. But on the other side of the coin some have gone on to great success, Ron Howard as a director, Aled Jones as a TV Presenter, some have given up showbiz & gone into successful careers outside.

Just makes me glad I had no real talent for singing when I was a kid;p!

Some analysis.

2012-01-02T09:36:00.001Z

In May 2012 Random Thoughts of a British Eccentric will be four years old. I was looking back at the stats for the last three and a bit years and noticed hat last year I only posted just under 200 entries whereas in the other years I was adding 4-500 a year. I think there are a number of reasons for this.

First & foremost is the fact that I have been devoting much of my online time to my zoology blogs. If I say so myself, I have made pretty good progress on this since my old zoology site gave up the ghost in late October last year.

Secondly, there hasn't been the spark there from other bloggers. Iain Dale & Dizzy Thinks have submerged themselves into Dale & Co which is a whole mishmash of them & other authors & I really cannot be bothered to sift through all the garbage there to read what Dale writes;and I don't bother too much with Babbling Bob Piper or Mad Nad Dorries, two opposing ends of the same spectrum.And as for politics there has been very little to raise my ire, the coalition seems to be led by Frank Spencer rather than Stalin & leads more to apathy than anger.

As for former colleagues, in all but one case the resentment I felt has almost vanished, they can go their way & I'll go mine, and good luck to them.. I understand that one is soon to be a Daddy & I wish him all the best. I'm a now a beleiver in looking forwards, not back , although there is still one creep there whom I would like to see with an anvil dropped on his vastly swollen head, but I wouldn't waste the air fare flying to the east coast to do so. So there's nothing really sending me into high flown flights of angry rhetoric there either.

And similarly I don't have colleagues at my current workplace scanning these ramblings to see if I mention them!

And even local characters like Fat Pat & Mountainous Mary seem to have subsided into relative quiescence, resembling nothing so much as a range of almost extinct volcanoes with the odd rumbling to remind you that they are alive.

Local politics? A collection of self important numpties led by fools,second class minds one & all & in it either to protect their own business interests from town councillors right across to those at county level. Difficult to raise much interest other than to register their most stupid decisions in passing.

Let's hope something interesting comes along.

Bravo Pam St Clement

2012-01-01T20:37:00.003Z

I don't, as a rule. watch soap operas. The day to day goings on on Neighbours, Home & Away, Emmerdale, EastEnders & Corrie have been a closed book since Father died in 1991. He used to watch them, I would notice they were on.

It's also been in the news that Pam St Clement was leaving EastEnders. I met her a couple of times when she lived in North Norfolk, once whilst out walking our dogs.

Well, there is a new series of Sherlock on tonight & we caught the end of EastEnders. It was Pat Butcher's death scene. And having been in a similar situation myself twenty years back the entire scene resonated strongly, from the despair felt by her son at seeing someone who had always been so strong passing away to the despair & fear felt by the one who was passing.

Every now & then a soap opera raises itself above the daily dross & gives you a scene of such stunning poignancy & such beautiful acting that you forget you are watching a soap.Coronation Street last achieved it years ago, there was a scene when Hilda Ogden was going through her late husband Stan's effects & the sight of his spectacles brought her to tears. Tonight Pam St Clement achieved this in her portrayal of Pat Butcher's final moments.

Well, it certaintly moved me.

Another year done

2011-12-31T18:40:00.001Z

In under six hours it will be 2012. The year of the Diamond Jubilee, the London Olympics, the 750th anniversary of Cromer as a town and the upcoming end of the world as we know it.

I've blogged about 50% less than I did the last couple of years although on average as I am building my zoology website anew I'm probably blogging much more. New Years Honours published, not bothered as I didn't get one & if they gave me a knighthood I would wear it.

I was saddened to hear about the end of Russell Brands marriage to Katy Perry, there are rumours that she had been unfaithful to him. Still, I'm sure he'll cheer up when he listens to the messages Jonathan Ross & I left of his voicemail.

Somewhere Andrew Sachs is laughing very loudly!

I'm also very amused by the warning from the local authorities that a sperm whale, washed up at Hunstanton could be a health risk .You'd never have guessed would you? After all, forty feet & sixty three tonnes of whale that has already been decomposing for the last month can't be that harmful can it?

This news just in. Bears shit in the woods.

Time to go Keith

2011-12-29T08:24:00.000Z

One of the district councillors representing Cromer, Keith Johnson, a man who previously served as Mayor on our town council, now seems woefully out of touch with the people he was elected to represent. Since he was appointed to the "cabinet" of North Norfolk District Council,a pretentious name for a collection of councilllors if ever I saw one, he & his fellow Cromer councillor's have supported such ridiculous anti Cromer measures as increasing parking charges for the town (where other towns will not be seeing a raise in the district) and in his latest pompous ramblings in the local paper, he has taken it upon himself to explain why Iceland's shop in Cromer is in the wrong.

This particuar issue, over their shop front, has been "raging" for a while now. I use the term extremeley loosely because it's the Nimbys of the Cromer Preservation Society & the District Council complaining. If you talk to the majority of townsfolk, we cant see anything wrong with the shop front and are just glad to see an empty shop in use. After all, it's no worse than some of the shop fronts on the hideous 1960s buildings.

But once again Cllr Johnson and his conservative cohorts in the closet (they strike me as belonging in the WC rather than a cabinet!) are hopelessly out of touch with public opinion & indeed perhaps the time has come for them to realise that they do not really represent the views of those they purport to represent. Let's have the resignations of these unelected busybodies & get some true local representation .

The planners have gone mad

2011-12-28T19:41:00.000Z

Christmas TV has left me completely bemused. The offerings on the main days themselves were frankly rubbish, with the possible sole exception of Dr Who on the day itself. But today, a day when many may have had to have worked, we've had Star Trek;First Contact, Blackadder Back & Forth, th Great St Trinian's Train Robbery to name but three, plus an interesting documentary on Hermann Goering (a fat egomaniac who was second in command to the worst dictator of all time, went into exile, came back but never quite held the same position vis a vis Hitler as he did again). In history are all the lessons, as they say.

Personally I have been feeling a wee bit under the weather, didn't get up till 8am today and had a very rough almost sleepless night last night . I got some work on the Reptiles Guide done, still working on the skinks but I just reached one of those genera with forty or so species & I don't much feel like working through that right now.

My brother Jon visited today for Christmas & to collect the family Bible. Julian decided to let it go back into the family on his 40th birthday. It was originally intended to pass from oldest son onwards but my oldest brother Robert was a bit of a bad lot so Mother decided it would go to the youngest son. Julian decided it needed to go to someone who would value the family traditions & gave it to Jon to pass on as he saw fit, on my sister Sue's suggestion. I think it's a good choice, I've had my differences with Jon but he does value the old family traditions where some do not.

And of course Snowy demonstrated what a useless watchdog he is by barking for five minutes & then trying to sit in Jon's lap for the rest of his time here!

Gloria, Based On Saint-Saëns's Organ Symphony (Libera)

2011-12-27T20:04:00.000Z

Neither fish nor fowl....

2011-12-27T19:12:00.000Z

We're now in that strange hinterland of the year. It's just after Christmas, that succession of days when some may have to work & some may not, but not yet the run down to the New Year. What joys will 2012 bring? The Golden Jubilee, the London Olympics & the end of the world depending on whether you believe the prophets of doom. Let me remind you folks, we had a similar load of old wank about the Millenium Bug back in 1999 & the only thing of any consequence that crashed was the original Q from the Bond films.

Any day now you can expect the newspapers & news websites to start regaling you with a review of the world's new, pictures of celebrities we lost this year & cod humourous predictions for the next year. I suppose it fills in for the complete lack of news at this time of year which was why Prince Phillip gained so much attention in an otherwise news starved press.

We've had the obligatory pictures of babies born on Christmas Day in the local rag, and the shots of dickheads risking hypothermia for the Boxing Day dip in the North Sea. Still to come are the pictures of the New Year babies & more dickheads risking hypothermia at other locations.

Now bearing in mind my last two entries you could possibly be signing me up for a visit from some old work colleagues & three spirits next Christmas Eve (assuming that the world hasn't ended a few days before that is!) but ciriously enough, although today's televisual offering has been equally as poor (One channel showing "A Walton's EASTER!!!!") in myself I don't feel as bad. My cold doesn't seem to have as firm a grip as it did and my own spirits seem to be in good order; perhaps I should attribute the glumness of the last couple of days to a minor bipolar downturn!

Christmas boredom

2011-12-26T16:12:00.000Z

Another dull & boring day with nothing worth watching on TV. Over a hundred channels of unadulterated pap.
So I find myself listening to the radio and working on my zoology website.

Thus far you can sum up this year's TV in the words of Macbeth.

To-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow,
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day,
To the last syllable of recorded time;
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!
Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player,
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,
And then is heard no more. It is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.

Christmas Day 2011

2011-12-25T07:01:00.001Z

It's about ten to seven as I start typing this. A little depressing to be up & on your own this early on this day but to be honest the scenario is not that different from when I get up at five am to go to work. Still a good few days before I go back too. Christmas lunch is set up & waiting to cook, the candles we light every year to remember those who aren't with us are lit, Snowy is snoring loudly on the sofa & Classic FM is playing on the radio.

Now the downside of Christmas radio on Classic FM is that they play mostly Christmas Carols. I have no objection to that but the rane is limited. I've hear "Tomorrow shall be my dancing day " five times this morning. They intersperse them with Christmas related stuff, like the Twelve Days of Christmas or Lt Kije, but you do hear the same things over & over.

Still, I must.t complain, unlike poor old Price Philip at least I will be home for Christmas. It's to be hoped all ninety year olds with heart conditions will now receive such prompt treatment.

So once I've done my bit I shall sit back, watch any decent TV that may be one, or work on my zoology website. We shall see....

A few things that have caught my attention

2011-12-21T07:25:00.001Z

Today marks the second anniversary of little Pip passing away. It also means that soon we will be celebrating two years with Eccles. In almost every way Eccles is the perfect alternative to Pip, just as affectionate, not only with humans but with the other pets too but a little bolder than Pip was.

I'm now on leave from work until 3rd January. I made the mistake of working through the summer & not taking a holiday so I felt worn out by October with most of my holidays being in the last two months.

Still up early, 630 today as I have a busy few days getting stuff sorted out that I would usually have done the last weekend before Christmas. But Christmas this year is at a weekend. So I'm sitting here, waiting for the places I need to go to to open.

Classic FM is playing carols, as it does every year.They just played "Tomorrow will be my dancing day" with the chorus

"Sing, oh! my love, oh! my love, my love, my love,
This have I done for my true love."

I can't help thinking of my ex sister in law Anne when I hear that , bloody woman used to punctuate any conversation with the phrase "my love" and sundry malapropisms.

Donald Neilson, the Black Panther joins Kim Jong Il in the fiery furnace down below.

Lastly there has been a story in the local news of a man who was conned into beleiving he had won the Spanish Lottery but as ever with these sorts of things there was a catch & there were fees to pay. And pay them he did, by conning his own friends & family, throwing good money after non existent cash. What amazes me about the whole story is that the guy was obviously a very intelligent man, with professional qualifications. How on Earth could he fall for such an obvious scam?

I could understand it if his intelligence was at the level of the sorts of people who keep staffies because they look well tough, support Lizzie Duke by buying their bling there& think that Diamond White is the greatest development since man discovered alchohol. But he was obviously more intelligent than the sorts who usually fall for this rubbish.I can understand how his firends were take in by him though.

Regrettably easy for false friends to con you rather than strangers.

16th December

2011-12-20T14:45:00.004Z

Kim Jong Il.

17 December; Kim Jong dead. Nuff said.

Greatly amused

2011-12-16T19:57:00.001Z

I find all the French talk about "Look at the economy of Les Anglais before you downgrade our rating M'sieur Standard et Poor " laughable. There is no denying that there are issues with the UK economy & people will have to start living within their means, payday loans & the old ladies from Wonga.com notwithstanding.

I can remember the seventies, the winter of discontent , the IMF loan , I can even remember the three day week, the most recent time things were bad financially. Then we had the "miracle" of Thatcherism, the unions were tamed, credit was easy to get& we started to live beyond our means.

I even recall, not that long ago, a former colleague bitching because she couldn't afford her manicure one week. Such is the result of the Thatcher years, a culture of selfishness & cheap credit!

It absolutely amazes me. If you haven't got the cash you go without in my view, or you save for what you want.

But to return to our neighbours across La Manche. Looks like they may be losing their AAA rating. Why aren't you downgrading the Brits, they cry. Perhaps the cheese eating surrender monkeys ought to recall; we didn't join the artificial currency concocted by them & their sausage eating pals to the north in an attempt to bring all of Europe under their economic domination.

Rather amusing, neither country could do it militarily & now they cant do it economically. But the Brits chose not to go into the Monopoly currency with the rest of them. So Johnny Frog looks like taking an economic downgrade & he doesn't like it!

Tough shit. You brought it on yourselves.

AlexeiSayle-Einstein-Formby.avi

2011-12-16T18:26:00.000Z

Thas' been a good day!

2011-12-15T06:03:00.000Z

Apart from the stinking cold I'm still getting rid of that is.

I''m now finishing for Christmas 20th Dec which gives me a few extra days grace to get stuff done before the day itself, and I expect to have finished adding snakes to my zoology blog by then as well.I've managed to get it in the same shape my old website was in after three years of work after 14 months this time.

Hey,you guys!

2011-12-14T18:27:00.002Z

Christmas, as Queenie from Blackadder the Second may well have said, is a time for jolly quips & pranks of all sorts. And in B2b publishing it starts to get quiet so I wasn't surprised to receive a prank call from an ex colleague.

Now I'll give this guy credit, his prank calls are usually top notch. He once rang a transformer manufacturer and asked about their Decepticon range. So it was a little dissappointing, as he fell back on a joke that wasn't funny six years ago and still isn't, that I found him out so swiftly.

I put it down to Sloth myself ;p!

On Pandas

2011-12-12T18:29:00.002Z

The sexual life of the panda
Consists of a three year wait
Then a carefully observed coition
After crossing the sea in a crate.
So their subsequent loss of libido
Is hardly a big surprise.
This accounts for the shortage of pandas
And the terrible bags round their eyes.

It's not only Frankie who's mad

2011-12-11T18:18:00.000Z

Out of boredom this morning, having done all the housework, I found myself watching a documentary about Frankie Frazer on the telly. It was one of those things looking at his career, with comments from Frankie & from other former criminals .I'm not going to dwell on the morality of what Frazer did, or indeed any of them, Frazer served his time and paid his price.

What I found odd about the program was that it included comment from the Kray twins. You would assume that as contemporaries of Frazer they would naturally have been invited to comment.

Were it not, of course, for the fact that Ronnie Kray died in 1995 & Reggie five years later. So how, you ask, did the producers get these comments; were they passed on by the Krays to a confidante, still living, who reported them in their turn to the producer?

Nope. They asked a medium to contact the Krays on the other side and ask them.

Somehow I don't think Frankie Frazer was the only mad person associated with that programme!

Just gone six

2011-12-10T06:52:00.000Z

But it's been sub zero outside & as a result the temperatures have made my joints ache. On the plus side I did get some good work done on PPNE, I finished adding the colubrid snakes (all 2000 plus) over the last three weeks, which means the great majority of snake species are now back..

I didn't take Snowy out this morning, far too cold for an aged terrier, but I did pop out to take a look briefly, all the cars are covered with deep frost. The dog was quite content to cadge most of the fried bread from my breakfast & the promptly go back to sleep. But it's so cold outside that Eccles, my cat has abandoned his usual place sitting on the windowsill & is in the living room keeping warm.

A number of interesting things happened this week. First Nadine Dorries announced she will not be running her blog any longer. Curious she makes the decison at around the same time Tim Ireland at Bloggerheads begins a comprehensive demolition of her accusations against him? Is she frit perhaps?

Secondly there are the revelations that Bell Pottinger were manipulating Wikipedia articles so they reflected their clients in a better light. Jimmy Wales of Wikipedia was up in arms about this, but I think such outrage is a little bit misplaced when you look at the amount of editing that goes on in this fashion , Bell Pottinger got caught but how many other organisations & individuals with ego piece profiles in Wikipedia haven't been found.

And I doubt it's just Wikipedia. When a supposed scam crisis arose last year among some former associates, among the many posts relating to the issue was one from a former intern claiming that the marketing dept there were creating false profiles & ID's to comment on their articles. Now I'm not going to comment on the ethics of doing so, but you would probably find most of the social media networks riddled with that sort of practice.

And can any of us say, hand on heart that we wouldn't be tempted to do so to put ourselves in a better light if we had the chance? So much interaction takes place online these days. I honesly can't say I wouldn't be tempted.

On a similar vein, I was wryly amused to read some stuff another former colleague sent me from a few months ago, looking at how a mutual associate managed to get himself tioed up in a nice little tangle through some seemingly doubtful practices. It seems Tony Blair's mantra of education, education, education should sometimes be left alone.

Lastly, reported to me by a friend who was at the Cromer Christmas lights switch on last week. Dear old Fat Pat was at the carol sing, joining in with gusto. But in her hands, I am told, the lyrics

Frankincense to offer have I
Incense owns a Deity nigh
Prayer and praising, all men raising
Worship Him, God most high

became

Frankenstein to offer have I
Incest owns a Deity nigh
Prayer and praising, all men raising
Worship Him, God most high

and better still

Myrrh is mine, its bitter perfume
Breathes of life of gathering gloom
Sorrowing, sighing, bleeding, dying
Sealed in the stone-cold tomb

became

Myrrh is mine, its bitter perfume
Breathes of life of gathering gloom
Sorrowing, sighing, bleeding, dying
Stunned in the Stone Cold's tomb

Do athletes do their hearts more harm than good?

2011-12-07T05:57:00.002Z

This story on the BBC caught my eye this morning. Something similar has been in the local news when a fit & healthy 25 year old died at a local half marathon & a few years ago a similarly healthy colleague died after attending a fun run.

As athletics on the world stage however becomes ever more competetive, with the rewards in terms of fame et al growing as records tumble, you have to wonder how much harm they are doing to themselves pushing to break records, run faster & jump higher.It makes me think of the poem by AE Housman

TO AN ATHLETE DYING YOUNG

THE time you won your town the race
We chaired you through the market-place;
Man and boy stood cheering by,
And home we brought you shoulder-high.

To-day, the road all runners come,
Shoulder-high we bring you home,
And set you at your threshold down,
Townsman of a stiller town.

Smart lad, to slip betimes away
From fields where glory does not stay,
And early though the laurel grows
It withers quicker than the rose.

Eyes the shady night has shut
Cannot see the record cut,
And silence sounds no worse than cheers
After earth has stopped the ears:

Now you will not swell the rout
Of lads that wore their honours out,
Runners whom renown outran
And the name died before the man.

So set, before its echoes fade,
The fleet foot on the sill of shade,
And hold to the low lintel up
The still-defended challenge-cup.

And round that early-laurelled head
Will flock to gaze the strengthless dead,
And find unwithered on its curls
The garland briefer than a girl's.

Does make you wonder if taking the risk to such extremes is worth it.

Interesting

2011-12-06T05:51:00.000Z

It might sound more the thing a Tory govt would do but Nick Clegg, the liberal leader, wants OAP benefits such as free travel etc means tested. His reasoning being that if you can afford to pay for free travel, you should, regardless of how old you are.

Free travel is a bugbear for me. I know at least three who get it on my bus who are still working, plus it doesn't seem to be the people who would benefit most that use it, rather it's nice middle class two income gilt pension plan people who fancy a nice afternoon out somewhere, then they pile into the buses in rush hour, crowding out tired workers & bitching about how busy the bus is (despite not paying a penny towards it.)

We are living in times when cuts are needed. Let those cuts be directed to people who don't need the benefits they are grasping avariciously, to save them for those that do need them.

The Battle of the Lights

2011-12-04T09:13:00.000Z

We are now almost ready for the day itself,less than three weeks . The freezer is stocked up ready for some serious cooking, the tree is trimmed & the decorations are up.

We're just waiting for the Battle of the Lights to start. Every year around this part of Cromer three or four families compete to smother the fronts of their houses in flashing lights. One family, on the junction between two streets, covers two sides of their semi detached house. Two others cover the front of their houses & work together stringing lights down the front of their gardens. Another covers his bungalow & every shrub in his garden with lights, another has musical effects as well as lighting. Many more put intricate displays of lighting in their windows.

It all looks very festive, but it's also very expensive!

The Great Celebrity book signing!

2011-12-04T08:35:00.001Z

Yesterday, between 11am & 1pm was the day of the celebrity books signing in Jarrolds in Cromer.Bit of a damp squib really, I was in town at the time & popped in. Whilst there were a few shoppers in there, the area where the signing was taking place was as empty as a hermit's address book. It would be fairer to say that when I was there there was no signing! Even when the guy who played the Vicar in Dad's Army had a signing there he got more people.

This merely confirms me in my view that whilst the people who appear in magazines such as North Norfolk Living may be considered as celebrities by their peers, the London set who come up on weekends, frequent the fancy restuarants along the coast & have photo shoots showing how lovely their houses are, the majority of folk are more interested in the good, honest ordinary folk who are more likely to appear in the North Norfolk News than North Norfolk Living .

And I sincerely beleive the great majority of folk like me aren't the least bit interested in the other set!

There's not place like home.

2011-12-03T07:00:00.000Z

So.

I know this blog is read in Iran. Or it was until I posted about their President, Ahmed Dinnerjacket being a ridiculous popinjay earlier this year & suggested they could do worse than throw the little creep out on his ear, dump the clerical gerontocracy that holds real power & rejoin the civilised world. As an aside to this, reactions to my opinions make me laugh. A few years back I had a Fogle impersonator dub me a dangerous leftie & friend of Islam and recently I was told by another idiot that I was a crypto fascist for wondering how a hairdresser from London, or something like that, merits a celebrity book signing when nobody has heard of him outside the little nimby circle that takes North Norfolk Living magazine.

Even Craig Coates is a more famous hairdresser than this guy, but I digress. Ronnie Corbett syndrome.

My point today is that a few days after Iranian idiots raid the British Embass & drive the staff out, the diplomats from the Iranian Embassy here arrived home to a hero's welcome. Yes, they smiled & waved & enjoyed the adulation of the crowd; but you do have to wonder how many of them felt the way Father Jack did when, on returning to sobriety he found he was still on Craggy Island? They've been kicked out of a relatively cushy posting & returned to a country where ideas of justice have barely progressed beyond the stone age , where democratic elections are meaningless , a sort of hybrid regime that owes as much to the Third Reich as it does to Islam. They must be thinking they were better off in the UK behind those rather fixed smiles.

Horse Faced Yorkshire Gobshite controversy

2011-12-01T18:48:00.001Z

It was very wrong of of the horse faced Yorkshire gobshite Jeremy Clarkson to say that yesterday;s striking public sector workers should be shot in front of their families. Very wrong indeed.

Birching them would have been sufficient.

Book Signings

2011-11-29T20:13:00.000Z

There are two of these in Cromer this weekend. The first is on Friday, when ex Canary Darren Huckerby signs the whinge filled tome that passes as his autobiography. The second is on the Saturday when a local "celeb" signs his book of experiences as the owner of a B & B.

The guys is called Robert Greenfield. Although I am a Cromer resident of more years than I care to recall
I'd never heard of the guy, it seems he's one of those types who were succesful in London, wearied of the rat race & came up to North Norfolk to enjoy a better quality of life. He's even been interviewed as a North Norfolk person in North Norfolk Living. Still, I'd never heard of him & only did because of this rather pointless book signing. He was an interior designer to the stars, so perhaps better known in London than up here.

North Norfolk Living magazine makes me laugh though, as it is singularly irrelevant to the average person who lives in North Norfolk. It seems to be aimed at the nice upper middle class types who come up here to enjoy the tranquility of life and then expect to have the region transformed into some enormous theme park where nothing ever changes & everything is like an episode of Kingdom or Doc Marten. Nothing that might benefit the ordinary citizen can be permitted (one of it's writers, who rejoices in the magnificent name of Eroica Mildmay was a vocal opponent of letting Tesco into Sheringham) as long as they can retain their rural Utopia. The sort that inveigle their way, unelected, like Greg Hayman, the mayor of Cromer, into local councils (anyone local who might like to serve is penalised by having to earn a living) and want to stop the clock at the time they moved into the town. Never mind the fact that communities need to evolve & grow , to benefit all strata of society, or they stagnate & die.

Joly articles about farmer's markets , agas, public schools, organic gardening. Definitely not aimed at the average North Norfolk resident & frankly redolent of a Strutt & Parker ad for an overpriced property, aimed at just the sort of metropolitan pseud who retires here.

It's an indication of how banal our community has become when an interior designer from London merits a celebrity book signing and is featured in Norfolk Living magazine. If you want to look at real Norfolk then look at REAL Norfolk, the good solid people working on the land, or in the fishing industry, the ordinary people, not the metropolitans who found in quaint here & settled down.

Don't get me wrong. They are welcome here. They at least have the taste to realise the beauty of the place, it's why I've never been tempted to stray too far. But don't assume that you own the place, my mad old metropolitan darlings.We may live a simpler life than London; doesn't mean we are simple!

Gary Speed

2011-11-27T16:22:00.000Z

I don't, as a rule, bother with sport but I guess like most of the nation I am absolutely shocked at the suicide of Gary Speed. All the more so because it seems to completely inexplicable. Here we have a man, in the prime of his life, successful in his job and suddenly he ends it all. Completely incomprehensible.

I have experienced four suicides in my life, two friends and two family, and it always leaves you wondering if you could have done anything more yourself to have helped the person who ended their life. One was tragically young, before he was sixteen, popular at school with no obvious reason. Another was a school friend who was bullied by a lad at school who was, in his own turn being abused by his father, & this bullying preyed on his mind for years but he couldn't talk about it.

It makes you wonder if there was something bothering Speed so much that despite outward appearances he couldn't cope? It's often the strong who suffer the most as they feel they have to carry on for the sake of others;and when it becomes too much the crash is all the greater, as is the surprise as those around them will not have suspected anything to be wrong.

I hope Gary finds the peace he needs now. RIP.

What a twat

2011-11-27T07:51:00.000Z

Everybody, to a certain extent puts on an act of sorts. We present different sides of our persona to different people, you don't act the same way when out with your mates that you do when visiting your nan. But each aspect of you is easily tied in to the others, making up the whole person, affected by your beleifs, your own self image & your upbringing.

Which is why, in a moment this morning when Mr Brain had decided to take a rest, I found myself reading a feature in one of the Sunday red tops about celebrity Christmas parties. Now it's well known I am not a great party fan at all, but I was wryly amused by the dj Tim Westwood, who proclaimed himself the big pitbull dog & said he liked to make his party as zoovie, glitzy like a movie & wild like a zoo.

Now Tim Westwood is obviously a talented man, but on his radio show he uses all manner of street slang & talks like Ali G (Ali G is said to be based on Westwood but it seems to me that the parody is now being parodied by the parodee. It's the sort of accent that Jim Davidson would be pilloried for if he used it but Westwood seemingly gets away with it.

To an extent.

Are all, there is something rather sad about a man in his fifties presenting a radio show when most of his prospective audience are likely to be out, trying to sound like a streetwise yardie. Especially when you know that his father used to be the Bishop of Peterborough & that is as upper middle class as you can get.

Sad twat!

A productive morning so far

2011-11-26T08:43:00.002Z

8.32 as I start to type. All housework done, dog fed (Snowy that is, Dexter isn't up yet) and walked. Bins emptied, leaves raked & composted (from under the flowering cherry) & the entire genus Elaphe added to PPNE. The old site, ppne.co.uk, is now officially not mine as I did not renew the website name. No point, it's all on blogger now.

Not much in the news, a report that British women are the fattest in Europe and Anne Widdecombe complaining that she hasn't been sent to the Lords as she's too traditional a Tory. Nothing to do with being a reactionary mad old bat somewhere to the right of Genghis Khan,despite her attempt at becoming a national treasure on Strictly last year.Tony Benn has mellowed over the years but still remained committed to his left wing principles. Widders has become shriller & odder as the years have gone by.

Usually silly crap in N Norfolk. The local fishing industry has been given a £2.4m grant to help it keep going. They'd do better along the coast to stop treating the industry like a closed shop restricted to a few families & encourage outside investment. The idiot Tory admin at our local council wants to impose higher car parking charges in the better of towns with scant regard to the ability of people to pay said charges.And Sheringham carnival committe have Status Quo playing at the carnival next year (that's if they can find someone else to put up most of the cash!

As far as we are concerned, & thanks to Julian who bought the thing, the digital switchover went well, but it's sad in a way to see the end of the old analogue transmissions, gone the way of the Anglia TV knight , Grandstand, World of Sport, Grenada TV & Adrian Childs; wait, I withdraw that last one. The pie faced wambler would not be missed at all were he to vanish into thin air.

Lastly,James Corden is a cunt.That is all.

Some Sunday observations.

2011-11-20T17:36:00.000Z

As the weather has been foggy all day, except for an hour this afternoon, I've been mostly working on my zoology website, but also making the odd observation here & there. Our local paper, for example, is quoting the increasing frequency with which Mediterranean gulls are now visiting Norfolk as an example of global warming. Let's be honest, these are gulls, gulls of all sorts are increasing due to the ready availability of food either at landfills or dropped by the careless holidaymaker.

Aside from that, at the moment I am amazed. Just got back from a quick potter with the pooches and one of the houses on the Chavenue have started putting the decorations up;the inside ones, that is! One month early!
Why is it as well, that these sorts, who proclaim how hard up they are, can smother their house in lights each year & leave them on all night?

Just heard that Hanna Barbera are producing a new cartoon. It starts Sepp Blatter, Ron Atkinson, John Terry, Prince Phillip & Nick Griffin. In it they drive around in cars competing against each other.

It's called the Wacky Racists.

And finally, as the say on the news, rember Dinnerladies?

Dolly on dinnerladies once said "Tony Blair! Stick two poems up in a bus shelter and call it a University!". Or stick some dumbells & a ring in an industrial unit in Mile Cross & call it a gym?

Sacked.

2011-11-20T07:32:00.000Z

It's come out this weekend that the pie faced wambler Adrian Cilds has been sacked from ITV's Daybreak programe, alongside that Irish footballer shagger whose name escapes me for the moment. Of course, Adrian will still be on our screens, regaling us with his charm & wit on the football programmes, but we can but hope that his career in sports reporting will help him bounce back like that other great sporting reporter, Alan Partridge.

The thing is, Alan Partridge is a comic caricature intended to be cringeworthy. Adrian Childs is naturally cringeworthy. A career presenting late night regional programs in the Midlands must surely open up before him, where no one will see or hear him.

In the words of the Bard, 'tis a consummation, devoutly to be wished.

Look after your own first, Mr Cameron

2011-11-19T08:30:00.000Z

I see there is a report out today that says doctors should lose the right to sign people off work. Their fitness to work should be decided by a panel, it says , & it will save us £350m a year.

Now I'm all for skivers who aren't really ill being forced back into work, as Blackadder says "saying phew, my leg hurts when you remember it does not make you a cripple" but there are many genuinely sick people who will be affected by this.

But if we need to save such figures, why are we paying £280m a year to India, a country almost unaffected by the recession and with a faster growing economy than us? Indian receives more in aid than it's neighbours Pakistan & Bangladesh, neither of which has it's financial advantages, & much more than most African states, which definitely dont have its advantages.

Look after your own Mr Cameron. Cut aid to India before you cut benefits to your own people.

Is it a blogoir?

2011-11-14T11:15:00.002Z

No, it seems not. Nadine Dorries says her blog is a bliary ,a hybrid blog/diary. A more appropriate explanation of this portmanteau word is that it's actually the blog of a liar.

She cant even claim originality on the word as it's been used by another blogger since 2008!

NCFC

2011-11-08T08:55:00.000Z

I wrote a post or so back about my suspicions about the identity of a commentor on local paper websites under the tagline NCFC. He comments a lot on stuff like finding a home for the Cromer Youth Team & has a lot to say in connection with the Cromer Crab Company. But more recently he has been laying out the vitriol to people commenting on the proposed marine conservation area off Cromer.

Reading some of the comments made by NCFC in the Eastern Daily Press & North Norfolk News, it's pretty obvious who he is, even without the clue of lack of capitals in any of his posts! As I thought , our local do nothing councillor in disguise! The man is a fool, known him most of my life & bh I would dismiss his views as readily as he does those of anyone who disagrees with him!

8th November

2011-11-08T08:48:00.000Z

Julian turns 40 today. Not much planned as he didn't want too much of a fuss, just the chance not to have to do any housework today, so although it's almost 8;40 all the housework is done. I was even up & out earlyish with Snowy, in the dawn's early light as the Americans say. It's also about ten years, give or take a day or so, since we got Dexter. I am convinced it was Dexter who got Julian through his depression a few years back, not, as they like to claim, a group of other people we used to associate with. With the benefit of hindsight we can now see that association as something we are well rid of.

The good thing about being up early, as dawn breaks is that you see things that you don't see in the full light of day. For example, in the woods at the back of Lynewood Road is a mixed crow roost. Sometimes, in the evening you will see them returning to roost after a day of doing what corvids do everywhere. But in the morning, whilst it's still dark, you can hear the rooks call to each other in harsh conversational tones. Then they leave, together with the jackdaws, to go about their daily business. Sometimes, as I wait for the bus on Mill Road they will appearing in a great mob, pairs of jackdaws breaking off from the flock to settle down on the roofs of the houses for the day.

Then a little later the magpies wil leave the roost, soaring like maltese crosses over head. Yesterday I saw a party of five (five for silver!) and today six (for gold!). But as they head out for the day, if you look up you will see skeins of geese flying over to feed in the fields and gulls making their way inland after a night at sea, looking for all the world like pterodactyls as they flap their lazy way along. Sometimes you will even see a heron, & may wonder how on earth such a bird manages to get into the sky at all.

Sunday 6th November

2011-11-06T08:44:00.000Z

Dull & wet today, bit like the idiot next door. Nothing much has occurred since last week to inspire me to write, little things have happened but I decided to save them up, so here dear reader is a whole heap of stuff to read. I won't be touching on motorway accidents, or the fact that the global economy once aain seems fucked & we are all going to owe money to the Chinese, incidentally one of their most famous inventions was being put to good use last night, blowing up small portions of the landscape to celebrate the failure of the gunpowder plot.

A few days before that we had Halloween, with kids indulging in the American tradition of Trick or Treat. Well, this isn't America (Thank God) but why is it on 364 days of the year we tell kids don't accept sweets from strangers but on 31st October we let them wander about actively soliciting them.

Seems appropriate to mention here that a former acquaintance is now doing psychic readings. Personally I have a healthy scepticism about these things. I don't doubt that there are people who genuinely are mediums, but I do doubt strongly that everyone who thinks they have it really does .I mean, we do have a stream of Romany blood in the family on my father's side but unlike some of my family members who actually beleive in the power of the gypsy curse I'm afraid I don't. And that's even allowing for the fact that I am the seventh born child in our family, supposedly the one who would inherit the psychic ability. I haven't seen any manifestation of it myself. They may be a medium, but sadly it may also be the result of smoking too many special cigarettes.

They handed the petition about keeping the Cromer Crab Company open over to the CEO of Youngs, the owners this week. Local councillors & Norman Lamb, the local MP were all there, but strangely one local councillor, who is also a crab fisherman wasn't. They have a report about it in the local paper, where they allow people to make comments, & when one commenter asked why he wasn't there was subjected to a stream of random insults & told that he is very busy. He was my town councillor for a while and got a reputation for not doing very much.

To me that reason holds no water. Our local MP, equally busy, was there. The CEO & COO of Youngs Seafoods, both busy men, were there. Poor excuse.

It looks like they will be keeping some work their,20 to 120 jobs and business worth £1-3m has been quoted but a friend of mine made a good point. None of the crab fishermen have really taken part in the campaign . If the factory closes then , in his argument, that £1-3m worth of business would be picked up at the artisan level, but the local fishing families along the coast themselves! A point worth considering

And I now have my first full weeks holiday since March, and that was hardly a holiday as I was preparing for a new kitchen to be fitted! Julian turns 40 on the Tuesday but apart from that I will be doing very little work! It will be nice to get away from the drudgery of 5am starts, two bus journeys of an hour each way & then sitting glue to the telephone for a few hours!

And another thing

2011-11-02T20:27:00.000Z

Why has no one told us that David Mitchell is the Go Compare man?

Wildlife.

2011-10-30T08:50:00.001Z

I've watched & studied animals for over forty years, since as a kid in my back garden in Cromer I used to look any every stone & log to see what might be there. My garden bird list includes such unusual visitors as woodcock & little auk, as well as plundering herons seeking an easy meal in the pond,woodpeckers, magpies, mallard & shelduck.

We've even, on occasion had visits from foxes and muntjac, living as we do near the edge of the town next to some woodland. I often see foxes in the early mornings on my way to the bus stop, once memorably within five feet of me as a big dog fox crossed the road, entirely indifferent to my presence.

But imagine my suprise when I reached the end of my street this morning to see three red deer hinds walking down the middle of the road as calm as you like. When they say me they calmly made their way onto the golf course.

Needless to say, with it being their rutting season had there been a stag there I should have taken a different route to the shops!

Now I am aware that red deer live in the woods around here,unlike one woman from the next village along who swore blind that there were no red deer at all. I've heard the stags roaring at night although they don't seem to stray too near the town itself, staying in the woods & fields. Which was why I was very surprised to see these hinds calmly strolling along between the houses & the golf course!

Sunday musings

2011-10-30T07:32:00.000Z

Just read the sunday papers, as you would expect full of tributes to Jimmy Saville, but very little other news;a few profiles of Vincent Tabak & a bit on Clarkson plating away from home; so Jeremy , where do you think you've come & how much will she be paid for her story.

News that is not news, why can't the papers investigate real stories, like why has no one ever seen Bez from Happy Mondays with John Bishop, the current flavour of the month comedian?

And another thing ;why has no one told David Mitchell

That he has the same hairstyle as Adolf Hitler?

These questions need to be answered!

RIP Sir Jimmy

2011-10-29T16:42:00.000+01:00

Sad news today, for another icon of my rapidly receding childhood years. Just before 2pm this afternoon it was announced that Jimmy Saville had passed away at the age of eighty four.

What a character! Odd even by my standards , but he became one of the best loved TV personalities of the 60s, 70s & 80s, and raised millions for charity.

But sadly it seems he died alone. Perhaps that's as he would have wished things.

RIP Sir Jimmy

It's obvious really.

2011-10-28T18:04:00.000+01:00

Sean Gallagher, best known as a member of the panel on the Irish version of Dragon's Den, and a candidate for the Irish presidency, has conceded defeat in the recent election.

I suppose you could say he's out..

27th October

2011-10-27T10:50:00.001+01:00

My first four days out of the office (including the weekend) since March. A long time to go without a holiday.

The sun arose this morning staining the sky a deep carmine red. If you listen to the shepherds you'd definitely be concerned about that particular warning. However, I don't have any plans for the next few days which will be thrown off by the weather, so let it do it's worst.

Some ex associates that we stopped dealing with are having a high old time objecting to something Julian's written, but I do have to agree with him. Five years or so since we said bye, not really interested & they are still bitching & whining about imaginary slights. Its a STPLC with delusions of adequacy. I am tempted to seek the advice of Basildon Council, but then again it took them ten years to shift their pikeys. Julian said it was like having an ex who can't accept you have moved on. I'm sure he knows how Jeremy Clarkson must feel today! Personally I don't measure friendships by how much advantage I can get from the other person.Seems not everyone does. Still, they do say the pen is mightier than the fraud!

Work on my zoology website proceeds well,I started the reptiles website a month ago and have made very good progress, already added all the tortoises , crocodiles, dinosaurs & a great number of prehistoric reptiles. It means a year on from being let down by my webhost that a lot of the information is back!

So end all dictators

2011-10-22T09:53:00.000+01:00

Well, they got Gadaffi. Dragged him out of a sewer pipe & shot him. I've seen some footage of his capture, it made me feel a little sad about the manner of his death, even more so the way he is being kept in a freezer & put on public show. But most dictators end up either exiled, imprisoned or executed despite the heights of power they reached. Hitler committed suicide. Mussolini was shot & hung by his ankles from a lamppost.
Ceacescu was summarily executed, Milosevic died in captivity.Idi Amin died in exile.

I looked up a list on Wikipedia of modern dictators & in very few cases are any of them overthrown by popular uprisings until recently with the Arab Spring. Many are replaced by coup, leading to another dictatorship, such as when Amin replaced Milton Obote in Uganda, & then on his own overthrow Obote became dictator again.

I was surprised by the number who died of old age! But what was shocking is how few were replaced by true democracies. Mubarak has gone from power in Egypt but the army remain in control.

Doesn't bode well for Libya

Poor old Ricky

2011-10-19T20:34:00.000+01:00

I'm not particularly PC myself, but Ricky Gervaisis in trouble for using the word mong in what he beleives to be a humourous way

"The modern use of the word mong means 'dopey' or 'ignorant'," said Gervais in a statement. "It's even in modern slang and urban dictionaries."
On Sunday, he tweeted: "Well done everyone who pointed out that Mong USED to be a derogatory term for DS [Down's Syndrome], Gay USED to mean happy. Words change. Get over it."

Ricky Gervais USED to mean talented funnyman. Now it means sad self deluded sufferer of Steve Martin Syndrome . Words change Ricky. Get over it (and whilst you're at it, yourself too!)

Fisking Benjamin Radford

2011-10-18T20:51:00.000+01:00

Benjamin Radford lists ten reasons here why bigfoot doesn't exist. But like Baron Cuvier, he is being rash!

Here's why.

There's no fossil record of anything fitting the description" of Bigfoot, said Radford. "There's simply nothing there."

Doesn't mean a thing. The fossil record is notoriously full of holes & to be honest looking specifically for something is like looking for a needle in a haystack. It doesn't mean theses creatures never existed, it just means that as yet zoologists haven't been able to tie up the living creature to the fossil record. No
shortage of prospective candidates.

Putting aside paleontology, Radford points out that today, if Bigfoot exists, it must disappear when it dies. "There's no hard evidence in the form of bones. There are no hair samples, there are no live or dead specimens," he said.

Okey dokey then.

Bigfoot believers argue that the soil in areas where the creatures live -- such as the region surrounding Bellingham, Wash., seen here -- is acidic and quickly breaks down the bones. Nonsense, says Radford: "There's nothing to that, because Bigfoot has been reported in every state but Hawaii."

Leaving the soil acidity argument aside, how often do you tend to find complete skeletons lying about? I've been studying nature all my life, never found one yet. The same arguments would apply here as apply to the fossil record. Scavengers feed on any form of carrion, bones become dispersed, are carried away etc in a very short space of time. Why do you think no one has ever found an elephant's graveyard! Seems that Benjamin only likes the evidence when it suits him!

Even for mammals that are relatively rare in global terms, such as the chimpanzee, it takes a decent population size to maintain a species. "If Bigfoot is a zoological reality," said Radford, "there has to be a breeding population."

For that population to be big enough to account for even a fraction of the sightings, there would need to be tens of thousands of the creatures in North America alone. "Think about that for a second. Tens of thousands of Bigfoot, living, breathing, doing what they do. Where are they? Why don't they get hit by a car?" asked Bradford. "The numbers just simply don't add up."

Let's turn this back to you. The chimpanzee analogy is quite patently ridiculous, comparisons, if you must generalise with a species about which little is known, would seem to indicate that in temperament & possibble lifestyle Bigfoot resembles more the gorilla than the chimp. Funnily enough the brash showoff chimp is more closely related to humans whereas Gorillas themselves were cryptids until surprisingly recently. Also conveniently ignored is the remote location of most sightings

The majority of "evidence" for Bigfoot, says Radford, consists of eyewitness accounts. Yet as psychologists and schooled juries know, such accounts are famously inaccurate.

What's more, says Radford, "the problem is, that's not evidence, it's an anecdote....It's interesting and you shouldn't dismiss it out of hand, but it's not evidence."

The same was said of the Komodo Dragon, Pere David's Deer, the gorilla, the saola, the giant panda, all of which are now accepted zoologically. Need I say more?

This black-and-white image was taken in 1977 by a man named Frank White, near Bellingham, Wash. "I'd call it a North American ape," White told reporters at the time. "You can call it a Sasquatch or anything you like."

Radford calls it a Blobsquatch. Aside from eyewitness reports, blurry images like this are what most Bigfoot believers rely on.

But it's no proof, said Radford: "These photos show something that is probably alive, it's probably dark, it's not a cat, it's not a camel. It could be a Bigfoot, or it could be a deer or it could be a guy in a suit."

"Ultimately," he concludes, "it's a two-dimensional image. It's pixels."

Yep, I agree. But it's not the only evidence beleivers rely on,it could just as easily be real as fake. The glass can be half full or half empty. Can you conclusively prove your own view?

For Radford and other skeptics, the only acceptable standard of proof is the scientific one. Why, when there are countless researchers probing the far corners of every continent, is there no rigorous, documented, peer-reviewed evidence for Bigfoot? Only one answer makes sense, says Radford: Bigfoot isn't real.

Attendees of the Texas Bigfoot Conference, pictured here, might disagree. The annual event draws hundreds of people -- including Bigfoot enthusiasts, amateur researchers, historians, and tourists -- but few if any academic scientists.

Not at all. There is evidence, it just needs one zoologist with the courage to look at potential evidence.

. The Case of the Ivory-Billed Woodpecker
.Speaking of science, Bigfoot believers sometimes complain that funding for Sasquatch Studies is hard to find. But scientists are notoriously good note-takers, Radford points out, even about subjects they aren't directly studying.

Consider this league of biologists scouting for the elusive ivory-billed woodbecker in Arkansas' White River National Wildlife Refuge, an area where Bigfoot sightings have been made.

"There was a huge, hardcore investigation. They were well-equipped, well-funded and made a sustained search," noted Radford. "What I found interesting was, what didn't they find? They didn't find Bigfoot."

Hello, are you completely dumb; weren't they looking for something entirely different?

Dozens of new species, previously unknown to science, are discovered each year. But for the most part, they are tiny: microorganisms and insects such as the newly discovered katydid pictured here. Could Bigfoot really hide in such a peopled world?

"The last large animal to be found was probably the giant panda, and that was 100 years ago," said Radford. "There has not been a single new creature that doesn't fit the recognized taxonomy discovered in the last century, there just simply hasn't."

OK, giant panda, first live specimen 1916.From Wikipedia

The Pygmy Three-toed Sloth (Bradypus pygmaeus) was named in 2001, after its discovery in the mangrove swamps of Isla Escudo de Veraguas, a tiny island off the western coast of Panama. They weigh 40% less than mainland sloths, are 20% smaller, and have a distinctive fringe of long hair

Since 2000, at least 25 new species of primate have been described—16 lemurs and nine monkeys, including the GoldenPalace.com Monkey or Madidi titi, named by auction.

Three species of lagomorph have been discovered in the 21st century: the Black Pika, Ochotona nigritia, the Venezuelan Lowland Rabbit, Sylvilagus varynaensis, and the Annamite Striped Rabbit, Nesolagus timminsi.

A number of rodents are described each year. Notable among those described since 2000 are the Cypriot mouse, Mus cypriacus, and the Laotian rock rat, Laonastes aenigmamus, which represents a family (Diatomyidae) thought to be extinct since the Miocene, and has been described as a living fossil.

Since 2000, several new species of cetartiodactyl have been described, including three aquatic species (Australian Snubfin Dolphin, Perrin's Beaked Whale, and Balaenoptera omurai) and three terrestrial ungulates (Roosevelt's muntjac, Giant Forest Peccary and Moschiola kathygre). Additionally, the Northern Right Whale, previously considered a single species, was proposed split into a Pacific and an Atlantic species.

Thats not a comprehensive list, doesnt for example include the saola. But thats since 2000AD. There's more in heaven & earth Bejamin, as the saying goes.

"There is no category of Bigfoot evidence that doesn't have a string of hoaxes attached to it," said Radford. "If you're studying a subject in which virtually all the evidence either comes down to being inconclusive or a hoax, something's wrong."

A little sweeping. You claim in one breath there's no evidence & in the next you say that all the evidence is fake. Try Occam's razor, the simplest explanation is true, these creatures may exist.North America must be full of hoaxers with expert knowledge if the sophistication of these hoaxers is anything to go by.

Authentic or not, footprints and other physical artifacts are meaningless scientifically, says Radford, when there is no standard to measure them by.

"Some of the footprints have three toes, some have four toes, and some of course have five," he noted. "Even if I'm certain a certain track wasn't made by anything else, how do I know it's Bigfoot? You can't."

Indeed you cant. But check my comments above, & some of the footprints have either been executed by such skilled forgers that they can show dermal ridges & physical deformities of a type most laymen would not find familiar. Either an amazingly sophisticated hoax, or perhaps evidence?

A closed mind, Benjamin, is a terrible waste

Sunday afternoon.

2011-10-16T16:34:00.000+01:00

Been a bit of a mixed bag of a weekend this week. As I type this dogs & cats are all slumbering, the dogs primarily because they finished the remains of a large pie I made earlier & are now sleeping it off. The cats because that's what cats do.

The weather has been good although early mornings & evenings have been decidedly chilly. The talk is now of snow, certainly in Scotland, by the end of the week. Should it get down to this part of the world I would hope to be stuck at this end of the journey rather than the work end. Much as I enjoy Infinity Business Media I don't want to be stuck there due to snow.

Progress on PPNE volume three has been good, I'm adding the dinosaurs now.

But there has been a little sadness this weekend. The one most will know about is the actress Betty Driver at 91, who was in Coronation Street. To be honest I haven't watched it for twenty years, since Dad died, & I should think there are less than a dozen characters left in it from whe I used to watch, and only really her & Ken Barlow from when I was a kid. I've written a couple of times that as you grow older it's sad to see some of the people you remember from the TV passing away.

There was also the news this week that a couple of former work colleagues from HMSO had passed away as well, well stricken in years as the poet says.All very sad!

Saturday 15th Sept

2011-10-15T09:31:00.000+01:00

Bright but cold outside today. I got up at 7am, which these days is really late for me. The weather seems to be turning more towards the winter now & I have every reason to believe it will be as hard a winter as it was last year .The bushes are full of berries, waxwings are about & the whooper swans are back early from Russia.

Already had a productive morning. Wales are playing France in the rugby world cup as I write, but thankfully I have a brain & I decided not to watch. Classical music is playing in the background & when I'm not here I've been adding dinosaurs to one of my other websites. I've made good progress, I'm now adding hadrosaurs. In fact the only interruption was when I went into the garden to watch a flock of geese fly over, I couldn't tell whicj species, but they were of the genus Anser; most likely greylags. I counted thirty in total, plenty of advance warning of their approach as you hear them long before you see them.

Branta bernicla

2011-10-13T16:16:00.000+01:00

The Once & Future King by THWhite is full of interesting snippets of information about wildlife & medieaval hunting. And then this

" And once, while they were passing over a rocky island populated by barnacle geese, who looked like spinsters in black leather gloves, grey toques and jet beads, the entire squadron burst out derisively with: Branta bernicla sits a-slumming in the slob, Branta bernicla sits a-slumming in the slob, Branta bernicla sits a-slumming in the slob, While we go sauntering along. Glory, glory, here we go, dear. Glory, glory, here we go, dear. Glory, glory, here we go, dear. To the North Pole sauntering along. "

Branta bernicla is the Brent Goose. Schoolboy error

I hope I am wrong

2011-10-08T19:02:00.000+01:00

The Cromer Crab Company has been a part of the town for three decades. At one point both my brothers, Julian & Mark worked for them. But years ago the local owners, who built the business up sold up to a national company. And from that moment the writing was on the wall.

There is now talk that the factory may close & it's production may go elsewhere. Local bigwigs are campaigning to keep the place open but I fear it's a lost cause. It's now owned by Youngs Seafood. A multinational like that will take scant notice of local feeling, it will do what benefits it's own profit line!

I hope I'm wrong.

RIP Steve Jobs

2011-10-06T16:14:00.000+01:00

Steve Jobs, the cofounder of Apple died of cancer today. Although I cannot recall ever using any of his inventions I know millions do, he has had a great impact on modern life.

But on one forum I visit a member compared his death with that of Princess Diana. I beg to differ.

Jobs made a positive contribution to the world. Well all is said and done, whatever good she did, Diana's legacy was negative. Wandering about the globe & simpering at charity dos hardly compares to what Jobs did both as an inventor & in his own right for charity to.

RIP Steve.

I wish I'd looked after me quim

2011-09-29T20:49:00.000+01:00

Pam Ayres is experiencing a comeback. For those who do not know, she's like Jethro in a frock, famous for being on Opportunity Knocks and really doing fuck all since.

Her poems were all about everyday stuff. In the dim dark days when I worked at HMSO any reference to Pam Ayres was prefaced by the line "An' now, some more of my fuckin' awful poetry"

Well, as part of my protest at the resurgence of this daft old tart, let me present to you my paraphrase of one of her most infamous manglings of the English language!

I WISH I'D LOOKED AFTER ME QUIM

Oh, Oi wish oi'd looked after me quim
and spotted the germs sat within
Oi was all of a rush,then I went down with thrush
An' chlamydia, feeling so dim!

Slow as a tortoise?

2011-09-29T06:08:00.000+01:00

I've been researching tortoises & their relatives for my newest website. Looking over at the University of Michigan website, that bastion of zoological xenophobia, I see in their scheme of things in the tortoise family, Testudinidae, with it's type genus Testudo, that the mostly AMERICAN genus Geochelone is considered by them to be the typical tortoise genus.

Heads up guys, look at the family name! I think Carolus Linnaeus got that right, even if you are a dingbat like Sarah Palin who beleives the book of Genesis is true word for word nowhere does it say God created all the stuff in the Americas first.

Typical tortoises are the genus Testudo, which give the family it's name.

Still, not as bad as the fool on Wikipedia who starts all his articles with XXX Tortoise is a turtle in the tortoise family ....WTF;it's a tortoise jackass!

Obscure zoological rant done!

May be of interest!

2011-09-28T13:39:00.000+01:00

In my day to day work I come across a number of interesting things; questionable company logos, strange company names. I have to say that this, from an American company, could relate to a number of people I've worked for and with over the years.

If you are a former boss or colleague and are reading this, wondering if I have you in mind, I can only quote Francis Urquhart.

"You might very well think that. I couldn't possibly comment."

Plugging the gap

2011-09-26T16:13:00.000+01:00

Theres a lot in the local news today about a £4m funding gap in the free transport scheme for the coffin dodgers. Under this, they can travel on the buses from 9am to 11pm free of charge.

Easy to solve though. Firstly, shorten the hours. If they can afford an evening out they can afford a few quid for their bus fare, so chop that back. Schoolkids & students are restricted as to when they can use their own concessionary fairs, why should the coffin dodgers be any different. Free travel 9am to 4pm, but if you want to travel at peak times you pay the going rate.

This might also help releive some of the crowded buses at rush hour when they all flood home.

Also restrict the availability of the pass. The majority who use them in our area are nice middle class private pension people who could easily afford the bus fare. And many on my route are still working!

So, make it available only to those who are retired & exist only on their state pension. Simples!

Wryly amused

2011-09-24T07:00:00.000+01:00

A couple of things are proving quite ironic and wryly amusing to me just now..

The first relates to the awful bunch that live next door to us. Loud music at all hours, loud arguments ditto, poorly parked cars, drinking beer & talking loudly on the green opposite, smoking pot & even climbing up to chop overhanging branches on a tree twenty feet high & twenty feet from the house which wasn't affecting either their TV reception or blocking light from the house.

All of a sudden it's all gone quiet. Whether they've decided not to rock the boat because of their circumstances or because someone has complained I do not know. I haven't complained myself but I understand from other neighbours that the mother of the family is seemingly obsessed with the fact that I might. After all, their cutting into my tree was entirely pointless & really just an act of criminal damage , but we've come to expect such pettiness from them. Perhaps she recalls the last time she started up, when she complained about something we had done & we let the landlord know just what sort of neighbours they were. She started it & I finished it. And so I'm told she's worrying that I might take action again.

Hey, Mad Nad

2011-09-22T14:50:00.001+01:00

A little heads up ref this little post .

I don't think you can say Tim Ireland hates women, but he does seem to hate liars. Conveniently you fall into both categories.

Quite appropriate that the MP for Mid Narnia should be the Lying Old Witch in the Wardrobe! Be grateful for small mercies, she's in the wardrobe but unlikely to get into the Cabinet!

Mad Nad is often considered Britain's analogue to Sarah Palin; I can see the resmblance, they both spout ill informed twaddle, both have done the dirty on their husband's , but Mad Nad is one up as she's pinched someone else's .

Makes you wish the daft old boot would fade away.

Who is this blubberpot?

2011-09-20T19:20:00.002+01:00

Fat woman sat next to me on the bus & tried to get me to let her on my part of the seat as well
"Your elbows are in my ribs" she said
"Sorry,I couldn't feel them" I replied
"If you were thinner" she said "You'd only need one seat!".
"If you were slimmer" I replied "You wouldn't need two!"
Game, set & match to the Prof!

As it's Sunday

2011-09-18T07:44:00.000+01:00

Here is a Bible reading for you, in Polari.

1 In the beginning Gloria created the heaven and the earth.
2 And the earth was nanti form, and void; and munge was upon the eke of the deep. And the fairy of Gloria trolled upon the eke of the aquas.
3 And Gloria cackled, Let there be sparkle: and there was sparkle.
4 And Gloria vardad the sparkle, that it was bona: and Gloria medzered the sparkle from the munge.
5 And Gloria screeched the sparkle journo, and the munge she screeched nochy. And the bijou nochy and the morning were the first journo.
6 And Gloria cackled, Let there be a firmament in the midst of the aquas, and let it divide the aquas from the aquas.
7 And Gloria made the firmament, and medzered the aquas which were under the firmament from the aquas which were above the firmament: and it was so.
8 And Gloria screeched the firmament Heaven. And the bijou nochy and the morning were the second journo.
9 And Gloria cackled, Let the aquas under the heaven be gathered together unto una place, and let the dry land appear: and it was so.
10 And Gloria screeched the dry land Earth; and the gathering together of the aquas screeched she Seas: and Gloria vardad that it was bona.
11 And Gloria cackled, Let the earth bring forth grass, the herb yielding maria, and the fruit tree yielding fruit after his kind, whose maria is in itself, upon the earth: and it was so.
12 And the earth brought forth grass, and herb yielding maria after his kind, and the tree yielding fruit, whose maria was in itself, after his kind: and Gloria vardad that it was bona.
13 And the bijou nochy and the morning were the third journo.
14 And Gloria cackled, Let there be sparkles in the firmament of the heaven to divide the journo from the nochy; and let them be for signs, and for seasons, and for days, and years:
15 And let them be for sparkles in the firmament of the heaven to parker sparkle upon the earth: and it was so.
16 And Gloria made dewey dowry sparkles; the dowrier sparkle to rule the journo, and the nanti dowrier sparkle to rule the nochy: she made the twinkling fakements also.
17 And Gloria set them in the firmament of the heaven to parker sparkle upon the earth,
18 And to rule over the journo and over the nochy, and to divide the sparkle from the munge: and Gloria vardad that it was bona.
19 And the bijou nochy and the morning were the quarter journo.
20 And Gloria cackled, Let the aquas bring forth dowrily the moving creature that hath life, and fowl that may fly above the earth in the open firmament of heaven.
21 And Gloria created dowry whales, and every living creature that trolleth, which the aquas brought forth dowrily, after their kind, and every winged fowl after his kind: and Gloria vardad that it was bona.
22 And Gloria fabed them, cackling, Be fruitful, and multiply, and fill the aquas in the seas, and let fowl multiply in the earth.
23 And the bijou nochy and the morning were the fifth journo.
24 And Gloria cackled, Let the earth bring forth the living creature after his kind, cattle, and creeping fakement, and beast of the earth after his kind: and it was so.
25 And Gloria made the beast of the earth after his kind, and cattle after their kind, and every fakement that creepeth upon the earth after his kind: and Gloria vardad that it was bona.
26 And Gloria cackled, Let us make homie in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping fakement that creepeth upon the earth.
27 So Gloria created homie in his own image, in the image of Gloria created she her; omee and palone created she them.
28 And Gloria fabed them, and Gloria cackled unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living fakement that trolleth upon the earth.
29 And Gloria cackled, varda, I have parkered you every herb bearing maria, which is upon the eke of all the earth, and every tree, in the which is the fruit of a tree yielding maria; to you it shall be for carnish.
30 And to every beast of the earth, and to every fowl of the air, and to every fakement that creepeth upon the earth, wherein there is life, I have parkered every green herb for carnish: and it was so.
31 And Gloria vardad every fakement that she had made, and, varda, it was dowry bona. And the bijou nochy and the morning were the seyth journo.

And to conclude, the Lord's Prayer.....in Klingon.

vavma' QI'tu'Daq, quvjaj ponglIj:
ghoSjaj wo'lIj, qaSjaj Dochmey DaneHbogh
tera'Daq QI'tu'Daq je.
DaHjaj maHvaD DaHjaj Soj yInobneS,
'ej yemmeymaj tIbIneSQo'
maHvaD yembogh nuvpu' DIbIjbe'moH.
ghotlhu'moHneSQo', 'ach mIghghachvo' ghotoDneS.
reH SoHvaD wo', HoS je, batlh je.

Smiley people!

2011-09-17T14:28:00.002+01:00

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